"Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."
T.S.ELIOT - The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock
But this is something that we do all the time; we just think and think and think, and all the minutes of the world go by with us thinking and making decisions and changing our decisions, and all over again!
It just takes one tiny, even miniscule, moment for us to turn a thought upside down into that melting pot of our minds.
And most of the times, it is not even just one thought that goes [berserk]. There an accumulative number of thoughts stacking up inside our brains, going crazy while we are [in BEtween] them and we try to sort them out..!
This is somehow the story of my life but this year is just exploded to a whole new level.
So here it goes:
2013 proved to be one of the most exhausting-difficult years of my life and the most rewarding at the same time. Funny how these two aspects are usually combined; it's as if one cannot exist without the other... This year offered many new experiences which I consider landmarks and propellers to the future experiences and years to come.
2014 is a tricky bussiness for me. I am standing on my tiptoes awaiting the exciting things that are just around the corner and, at the same time, I get cold feet in the thought that my dreams might not materialise and turn into reality.
I've spent this past year falling from reality to a dreamlike and visionlike state of the future unable to remain in one place. My thoughts had to be divided in numerous little pieces because my life was broken down into boxes (university, work, dance, research, etc.). Throughout the year, and still, I felt as if I was [in BEtween] two periods of time, two places, two different bodies, two minds...It wasn't the typical "my mind is neither here nor there". In fact, I struggled to remain focused on both since there was need for preparation for what is about to come in 2014. In essence, I had one foot here and the other foot there but this sometimes felt extremely uncomfortable and exhausting. I wanted to make a choice between the two, but I couldn't simply because I HAD to do it all. What are you going to do in this case anyway? Quit your job? Level down your studies? Give up on your dreams? Our times call for desperate measures and since it has become much harder to pursue your dreams, then you have to be able to do it all and keep on going.
Yet, this can be so catastrophic...
I guess this post seems like a ramble and it most probably is.
The random/specific thoughts that come through my mind on this last day of the year and the hope that 2014 will bring about all the dreams and changes that I've worked so hard for.
Some say that we shouldn't have expectations because things don't usually turn out the way we want them to. And I've seen this happen many times. But, I cannot stop dreaming and planning and working hard for the future; MY future. Nobody is going to give YOUR future to you unless you pursue it.
You cannot possibly know if it going to be exactly as you have imagined it, but this is no reason to give up hope or stop pursuing your goals.
But remember to look to the future while enjoying the present moments because they only come by once...
May 2014 bring everything that we have ever dreamed of!
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